You can pin them up anytime you want.

Take a break from endless free porn and every variation of naked girly girls and rediscover the incredible allure of not seeing everything with 1000 Pin-up Girls by Taschen.

Collecting together luscious illustrated front covers and ludicrous black and white photoshoots (uber-babe Betty Page in her underwear taking a dog for a walk down the street) from Beauty Parade, Eyeful, Titter, Wink, Whisper and Flirt, 1000 Pin-up Girls shows us that … guys don’t change.

These girly magazines were printed through the 1940s and 1950s and on every few pages you can see things you wouldn’t have thought were around back then. Hmm … incredibly hot blonde girl (Bound Beauty) photographed with wrists chained. Hmm … girl on girl wrestling. Hmm … girl with whip. Is it just me or do most people think the 40s and 50s were much more puritan than they obviously were?

Going Everywhere and Doing Everything in Underwear

The black and white photographs (known as photo-plays) tell ridiculous stories where girls in underwear get into all kinds of absurd almost silent-movie catastrophes. Trapped in a travelling chest – of course! Going to the dentist in your underwear and it just so happens the dentist is another hot girl in her underwear as well? Yes certainly!

Publisher Robert Harrison (who was involved in many a scandal back in the day) knew that men don’t read and don’t care what the story is so long as there is a girl in underwear involved. He was right then and he is right now. I’ve owned 1000 Pin-up Girls for a few years and looked at every picture but hardly read any of the accompanying text. What do I care why that girl is dressed as a sexy cop? She’s a sexy cop in underwear!

Before I talk about the brilliant illustrations I’ve got to mention the odd feeling I get whilst reading this book. No … it’s not that odd feeling in the pants. It’s the some-of-these-hot-girls-are-dead-and-gone feeling. These pictures are from say 1950 and the girls were about 25ish or so. So they’d be about 75 – 83 right now. Which means … they’re either dead and you’re getting hot over them or they’re 80 years old and you’re getting hot …

In the photos they’re so young and beautiful – perfect miracles of physical beauty and health and they’re all real girls. These are the days before Photoshop, breast implants and other tricks of beauty.

Enough sidenoting.

Sexy Illustrations

Those with a passing interest in “cheesecake illustration” or pinups have probably heard of Peter Driben, Earl Moran and Billy Devorss. Harrison hired them to illustrate the front covers of his many magazines and in our time we now call what they did “art” whereas at the time it was probably called smut or some other 1950s word like … saucy.

The illustrated pinup girls are simply extraordinary works. Sexy girls with long legs and wide real-girl hips are painted in amazing detail. As you flick through the book it’s easy to find an illustration far sexier than a real-life girl massaging another real-life girl (of course the masseuse would be in her underwear as well!). There is a lot of winking and expressions that are far hotter than the vacuous wide-open mouth expectant stare of a modern porn star.

It’s the anticipation you see. Illustrated girls waiting on beds, tying up bathing suits, stretching out their long legs and winking at you in their oh-so-seductive way. You feel as though they are in front of you, allowing you to watch … a mere moment away from you carrying them kicking and screaming over your shoulder to your bedroom.

I think the smiles really do it in making these illustrations so alluring. When did you last see a porn star smiling?

1000 Pin-up Girls is another one of those must-pick-it-up books for your bookshelf which may lead to your date jumping you. It gets people hot without anyone calling it x-rated.

Love that top

Spread throughout the book are some of the original advertising pages from the magazines and they are hilarity compressed into tiny squares. 100 feet of film of Betty Page dancing sent to you in brown-paper package. 1000 photographs of female beauty around the world in five picture-packed volumes (only $1.98 for the complete set and you’ll see Oriental modes of marriage and female slavery in China, Japan, India etc). Perhaps you’d like 16 glossy photographs of Gorgeous Grapplers showing lovely young blondes and brunettes testing their strength on the wrestling mat? Only $1.00 and will be sent in plain wrapper.

How I got 1000 Pin-up Girls: I’m going to have to go with the ever-amazing Polyester Bookshop in Brunswick Street. You can find it in mainstream bookshops though (at least those big enough to have some of the nicer art-type books from Taschen).

You can buy it from Amazon but check out the shipping first – it’s a bit of a chunky book in hardcover. You can also find a lot of illustrations around on the unite-o-wires if you do a bit of google-diving.

Oh yeah, there is a whole introduction to the various magazines and a bit of history on the publisher but no one will read it. Not when there is a girl lion-taming in her underwear to check out.

Happy reading,

Mat

–

i swear i didn’t sleep with your girlfriend

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There is nothing artist Eric Stanton loves more than an incredibly sexy woman completely dominating a man. His powerful women slap, kick, punch and wrestle men until they submit (and sometimes cry). All while wearing skimpy see-through lingerie, latex and other not-appropriate-for-dinner-with-the-parents gear.

It’s bondage art people.

And it is art of extraordinary colour and movement. An Eric Stanton fight is a real fight, full of swift slaps and punches that you can feel as you read.

Reunion in Ropes contains four long stories, titled: Whippers All, Bonnie and Clara, Reunion in Ropes and The Dominant Wives.

Hmm … what do those titles suggest?

Some stories are presented in standard comic book format – wives spanking their husbands, speech bubbles floating around – and some have a more cut-and-paste sketch design with text at top and images below.

This book will get someone to jump you

This is one of those must-pick-up-now-from-your-bookshelf titles. Got a girl over at your place on a date? Let her idly peruse your bookshelf and discover it sitting side-by-side with some cool photography books. It’s not porn, it’s art … which people happen to read and get a bit hot and bothered about.

Got a guy over at your house on a date? Even better! After he reads it then you can slap him and drag him to your room.

There are certain books which serve two purposes. Firstly, they are simply cool. Beautiful art or an amazing story or a great front cover or whatever. Secondly, they introduce ideas or nudge people away from standard life towards a little bit of craziness.

What is so very cool about this book and Eric Stanton’s art is that it captures part of the sexual behaviours and games people play. What girl hasn’t grabbed her boy’s hands and pushed them up over his head, holding him down?

Although Stanton’s art goes further than most people do in their little games, it is still very enjoyable to read and the storytelling is on par with the art.

How I got Reunion in Ropes & Other Stories by Eric Stanton: From none other than the most awesome provider of the freakiest underground books, magazines, films, comix and zines, Polyester Books! Located at 330 Brunswick Street, Fitzroy, Melbourne.

Eric Stanton produced a massive body of work, some of which the very cool people at Taschen Publishing have reissued as part of their Icons series. A quick googlerama will also find you big chunks of his work out there on the connecto-webs (turn off filtering in preferences).

Buy it from Amazon if you’re shy about face-to-face contact or head down to your local strange bookshop (not those adult shops. Although I suppose they could have them. Just don’t go anywhere the floor is sticky).

Happy reading,

Mat

–

we need a honey intervention for winnie the pooh

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Twitter: http://twitter.com/mathewferguson